Holding Back Daylight

thedealis.co.za_holdingbackdaylight

It’s is so dark in here. I cannot see a thing. That shadow…that ever-repressing shadow hovers over me making sure I cannot break free. Chained to him forever. That’s what he’d like me to believe.

A month has passed since the incident. He shot me. Left me to die in the filthy street in the dark of night. I heard the sirens approach. Felt a presence so, so near. Next thing I knew there were people prodding and shouting. The EMT’s. “She’s lost a lot of blood but is still alive”, one said. The one placing the mask over my face. I couldn’t see anything. Could just feel them moving me this way and that.

Another voice…one I recognise is answering questions. “What do you think happened here?”. A policeman then. The familiar voice responded, “We went out with some colleagues this evening. I offered her a lift home and left. Then I noticed she’d forgot her jacket so I turned around to return it. Then I saw her lying here in the street. No one else in sight. That’s when I called you guys. I didn’t touch her…just kept watch. She was alone”.

Alone. The way I’ve been for most of my life. Today I lie here in the ICU telling myself that something’s got to give. He shot me in the head and chest. The headshot was just a graze and the chest blow narrowly missed my heart.

I found out later that the one who helped me was the colleague I’d taken a lift with earlier that night. He has so many questions. Questions I am unwilling to answer. I don’t want him or anyone at the office to know about my past. He is being so kind to me but I don’t trust men…no matter how kind they may seem. I don’t want him to get too close. I spoke to the police and gave them all relevant details in order for them to do their investigation and catch my shooter. They know the history because I have filed for a protection order previously. Now attempted murder will be added to that file. “Do you want to go into protective custody?” the detective asks me. I say no. Thanks. I don’t want to run anymore.

He doesn’t yet know I’m still alive. Oh, I’ll be moving house…but that’s it. I will carry on life as it was. I’ve got a good thing going at my new workplace. Finally, closer to a dream I’ve had for so long. I will not allow him to take anymore from me.

No more holding back daylight.

This piece is part of a series that seems to have no end. It would be awesome if you’d read the other posts and poems related to this. Let me know your thoughts.

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

Comments

comments

Leave a Reply