Sinking deeper and deeper into the abyss I try fighting my way out to no avail. I hear vague, urgent voices in the background. I feel cold. My body aches. And then…I remember…
I covered my tracks well. I know I did…But how?…Name changed. Hair changed. Everything right down to my personal identity changed. I am no longer me…and yet…
I got up this morning. Looked out the window and admired the beauty of nature. Appreciating the scent and sight of a new day. I drank my cup of liquid gold to get me going. Jumped in and out of the shower and headed for work. It took a while but eventually I found a job somewhere down the bottom of the totem pole at an indie record label. I absolutely love what I do. Especially the level of independence it gives me. Something I didn’t have before. I tried years ago to get into the industry and never found joy. At least I know the reason for that now.
So, anyway, I walked to work (living just a few blocks away). It was an amazingly beautifully bright day. I thought to myself that things were finally looking up for me. I finally caught a break! My day was just so happy that when a colleague invited me out for Friday night after work sun-downers with the rest of the team I accepted. Something I never did before. I had such a great time enjoying the company of these amazing people that I’ve been shying away from for so long. Sipping on my virgin mojito. Oh, why virgin? I detest alcohol and what it does to certain people…with reason. So I steer clear of it.
As the night winded down one of my colleagues offered my a lift home. I accepted because we were now on the other side of town. It was such a pleasant drive home. He was an absolute gentlemen…but life has taught me not to trust. It was a short drive. Ten minutes and we were parked outside my apartment block. I said my thanks, waved goodbye and entered the building. Only after making sure he had driven off did I proceed to walk into the stairwell. I never take the elevator. I feel trapped in that confined space.
Once inside I took the first step and looked up into steely grey eyes. He found me! I was planted to that spot for what seemed like aeons . He’d found me. I took a step back. “Are you not going to welcome me up?”, he said. I couldn’t speak. My voice couldn’t escape my head. I wanted to scream but found I had suddenly lost the ability. Years of training had taught me to know better. I turned around, opened the door and ran for dear life into the ominously quiet streets.
I wasn’t fast enough.
There was no one else about. Just us two. Him and I. Again. The rage I saw when I dared to look into his eyes scared me lifeless. “If I can’t have you…no one can”. Words I’ve heard countless times. Words that warned me I was his possession. A flash of light and a chill against my temple. And then…darkness. I faintly heard him walk away. . Hesitate turn around…then walk on. Cold, he left me for dead. I lay there in my crimson pool and drifted away. A sound draws me out from my slumber. Sirens. Someone must’ve called for an ambulance. Someone next to me…Someone I don’t know. I felt myself being lifted onto a gurney. Heard the doors closing. Sensed the urgency around me.And then…I was gone.
Two weeks later I awoke from my deep sleep. I remembered what had happened. According to the doctors I was fortunate. A head shot that should’ve killed me yet by some miracle I survived.
He didn’t break me. He did not silence me.